Dead, Gone Forever
by itsokaytobeafraid
Summary: She had spent countless hours trying to wrap her mind around one simple question. Three letters. One word. Why?


**Yayyy...I'm back! FINALLY Most of ya'll know me from BTR and Kickin' It..but I did write one Austin & Ally fic. This is my first PLL story, even though my last story for Kickin' It had mentions of PLL. **

**But still...I'm back from my 8 month hiatus. I had sort of given up writing. I forgot what it felt like to write. I haven't written since September. Finally, I logged into my FFn account yesterday and given it a makeover. New bio, new pen name, and now new stories (even though I've kept a couple).**

**So yeah...this is some drabble from last week's episode, "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" 3x21...so um, SPOILERS. DEFINITELY...I may have spoiled it for my friend the other day..heh.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars**

Spencer felt shattered.

B-r-o-k-e-n.

It _wasn't_ possible. It just _couldn't_ be. She thought she was just tracking Mona…trying to find more clues about what happened…not to find…_this_.

She thought she knew Mona, that she could figure out what Mona was doing and actually be one step ahead of the A Team for once. That they, the four pretty-no, _gorgeous_-best friends, could actually not live in fear of what the A Team had in mind for them.

It wasn't fair. Not at all. How could someone so cruel be in charge of what happens to them? Spencer, no matter how logical, just couldn't seem to think out a reason of how this could be possible. She had spent countless hours {she didn't bother counting how many it actually was...it wasn't worth it} trying to wrap her mind around one simple question.

Three letters.

One word.

_Why?_

Why was the A Team doing all this? Why did Mona come back? Why did she try and hurt them in the first place? Why did Toby leave? Why did Jason disappear? Why did the Detective Wilden try and threaten Hanna and her Mona? Why did Cece leave? Why? Why? Why?

There was once a time Spencer might have believed in a God, no matter how rational she seemed. Maybe deep down she had hoped that there really was a God, someone who could make miracles happen and made sure that everything would be okay, no matter what hardships faced you.

But as the days, weeks, months, even _years_ wore by, her faith grew less and less. If there really was a God, wasn't it his duty to just step in now? They have already gone through so much, suffered through many hardships...why can't he just be as God is supposed to be and _save them_.

And now...this. This couldn't be. It wasn't possible. She couldn't really tell from far away, it was too blurry, unclear. But as she took a step closer, one-by-one grew nearer, she got a sick, sinking feeling in her stomach. She covered her mouth, gasping as she approached. No, it could be. It wasn't him. He can't be...He isn't...dead. He's just gone. Away. Not _here_. But not..._dead_.  
As she came up next the the body, wearing a very familiar biker helmet and leather jacket and had hands tainted with blood, her eyes zeroed in on the small black marking on the lower back of the man. There were just a few words, that normal people may not have been able to notice. But Spencer knew these words _oh-so-well_, from the time when all the girls had first seen the tattoo and suspected that he had something to do with Alison's disappearance. But they were wrong...up until a couple of weeks ago...when it ended up that they were right.

_**9/01 Free At Last**_

That confirmed who it was. It had to be him. But Spencer knew that it wasn't enough. She needed _solid proof,_ just to see his face. She reached for the helmet visor, having every intention to lift it up and see if it truly was _him_, the one person she loved and hated the most right now.

"He's dead."

Spencer whipped around, trying to track where that voice was coming from. It was _her_. Mona. Spencer ran, leaving that horrible scene, leaving _him,_ and seeking vengeance. White hot rage blinded her vision, telling her to find Mona **now**. Yet deep down, she felt like crying. She felt like she could cry enough tears to make the whole Sahara Desert become a lake. She loved someone for once...only to have lost them. For them to have been taken away. _Gone forever_.

_Dead_**.**

_If that bitch was the one who killed her Toby...bad things were in store for her._

**Review please(:**


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